The Mathematics of Life
by erskine exposed
Summary: Hanabi had a lot to live up to, and she was going to prove she was worthy of the Hyuuga name. From 100themes. Chapter 6: Real Reason: She did not want the diplomatic answer simply because she was a child.
1. A Numbers Game

Title: A Number's Game

Prompt #: 91, innocence

Characters: Hanabi

Summary: Numbers can predict the outcome of her life, but will life be confined by what logic dictates?

Word Count: 1,351

Hanabi knew the statistics on rookie genin inside and out. Overall, thirty-three percent of genin teams dissolved before their first chuunin exam. Of those, approximately twenty-four percent fell apart because of medical reasons (the loss of one or more limbs, paralysis, comas, and even psychological breakdowns), twenty-seven because of personal reasons and stress. Another forty percent of teams consisted of survivors who were left to visit their teammate's name at the KIA monument.

It was an undeniable fact of life that mortality rates in a Hidden Village were high, especially among the inexperienced young. Hanabi had long ago reconciled herself to that fact. However, she was less worried about the death of others, than her own, which she deemed imminently more likely due to the nature of her new team. This fear wasn't completely unfounded, though, for the last statistic showed that nine percent of new genin teams didn't contain any survivors to honor their fallen comrades.

Of course, this was merely nine percent of thirty-three, making for a total of merely two point nine percent. Hanabi knew these numbers by heart, and normally this kind of exercise would calm her mind, but now it made her determined not to become one of the statistics that she computed effortlessly in her head.

As she pushed the ever-present numbers to the back of her mind, she found that three pairs of eyes were trained on her. Had Hanabi been any other twelve year old girl, she probably would have blushed at being caught daydreaming. As it was, she simply raised dark brow and her unspoken question was relayed to the oldest of the group.

Their sensei was, by all appearances, a very strange woman. Her entrance into the classroom had been savage, and fairly messy, taking out a whole row of desks because she'd chosen to come in through a newly made hole in the ceiling. Hanabi was not quite sure how these years as a genin would turn out, but she was certain there would never be a dull moment.

"Well, I thought that it would be helpful, for you—I couldn't care less—if our team got acquainted before getting to work." When the three rookies proceeded to avoid her gaze, or simply ignore the blatant invitation to introduce themselves, the jounin exasperatedly sighed, "Chatty bunch, aren't cha? My name is Mitsuji Kihaku. I'm a former ANBU on the T and I squad. I like blades and torturing people. I was _very_ good at my job. I dislike children, though I suppose I'll have to make an exception for you all, won't I?"

The next to speak was the bald genin sitting next to Hanabi. Even sitting, he practically towered over both his teammates. He did not seem to have taken his new sensei's words kindly, as he was practically spitting while he replied, "Is this a joke? There's no way the Hokage could give a nut job like you a position as a tram leader!" He didn't give the woman time to reply as he barreled on, "I'm Murayama Kozue, and I'm no kid! I'm a full fledged shinobi, and can prove it!" Then, aware that he had an audience other than Kihaku-sensei, he redirected to the original point of the conversation, seemingly calmer after he vented his feelings. "I love learning new jutsu, and can already tell I'm going to dislike my sensei," he finished, though no response was elicited from said sensei.

Hanabi sat quietly, knowing the other boy would speak before her. He was quiet, more like her than the other, but she knew he was nowhere near her level. "I am Honami Yasuo. I enjoy reading, especially myths and legends. I am not particularly fond of loud things," with this he quickly glanced at Kozue, but the look was too fleeting for the other boy to notice.

It seemed as though he was finished, and so Hanabi raised her eyes and settled on a place somewhere over her sensei's shoulder. Taking a nearly imperceptible breath she said, "My name is Hyuuga Hanabi. I like numbers, they follow a set and logical path, unlike people. That said, I dislike most people."

The look of near outrage on Kozue's face, and intellectual interest on Yasuo's almost made the girl crack a smile, but she kept her frozen mask in place, training her eyes on sensei for the words that were sure to come.

The Mitsuji appraised her would-be team. They all had potential, even she could see, but she also knew something was keeping each of them from reaching that potential. She'd been around long enough to know that those who didn't take what they were handed didn't survive long. Now, all she had to do was figure out how to get them to let go of everything, with the least amount of effort. She could play nice as Tsunade-sama had specifically asked her to, or be realistic with them. She was torn, but only for a moment. After all, Kihaku never played nice, given the choice.

"Listen up, runts." She ignored the silent, and not-so-silent, protests to continue, "You three could be an adequate team, certainly not the best—"

"Hey, lady! I don't know what you're talking about, but I'm gonna be the best shinobi this Village has ever seen!" Kozue interjected. It defied common logic that the teacher who was supposed to help them become better ninja would put them down so early.

"I believe I was speaking?" He quieted, but still seemed disgruntled. "Anyway, you could turn into an acceptable addition to Konoha's ranks. I've been in this world way before any of you were even a thought. I have far more experience than you could dream of at this stage. For now, the entire shinobi community would consider you innocents, untouched by the harsh realities that come from our life. As such, it is my job to make sure you reach some semblance of maturity relatively unscathed.

"However, if you want to be more than adequate, you'll have to give up that innocence while retaining your humanity. You have to give up your control to the powers that be, but remain driven, and _know_ that you will succeed. This path is not what I originally intended for you, but to survive, you need to no what it takes to become an elite ninja."

The three students let her words sink in with varying degrees of acceptance. Hanabi's pride stung from being called an "innocent."

She already knew the truth behind shinobi life, she hadn't been born into a respected ninja clan for nothing, and knew the semantics of death and war. Of course, she'd never really experienced it first hand, but that didn't make much difference, did it? Could the details on paper be so dramatically different if acted out in real life?

Hanabi considered this carefully. Equations and variables had been calculated to predict the outcome of any possible event. Her numbers would keep her safe, wouldn't they?

Out of all of Konoha's ninja ranks, sixty-two percent held specialized jobs or assignments. Roughly one-fourth of those shinobi were classified as "elite." Only thirty percent of the elite class were part of the combat squads in ANBU, the best of the best. That meant that less than five out of one hundred shinobi participated in the high risk missions ANBU assigned.

The odds did not seem to favor the Hyuuga daughter. But here was a woman who knew what it took to get to the top, and she was offering, in some twisted sense of the word, help.

If she took the help, Hanabi knew it would be a gamble, though more like a leap of faith. Of all of her equations, not one could accurately predict the affect of the human will. Her dreams would rest upon the drive of her team, just as their hopes would rest on hers.

It wasn't a difficult decision to make. Hanabi had made up her mind long ago, and there would be no turning back. She was going to be the best, numbers or not.


	2. Playing With Color

_Wow, so I realized I didn't introduce this story in the previous chapter, so here it is now. This theme set is from LJ's 100 themes community, and I've stolen it. Anyway, this is mostly a series of oneshots and drabbles that will follow the ninja career of Hyuuga Hanabi, if you didn't figure that out. Not all the oneshots will be in chronological order, but once accumulated, it should tell a full story. So, if you like it, or don't, leave me a review, it would be much appreciated. _

**Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine, nor is Hanabi. I am also not making any money off of this, or any of the other chapters. **

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Title: Playing With Color

Theme #: 15, Music

Summary: Ordinarily, the compound was a world of gray, the clouds themselves washing the Hyuuga's world in a haze.

Word Count: 572

Perhaps it was cliché, Hanabi pondered, but then again, it seemed only healthy that she should participate in an activity that didn't involve battering others into the ground. Lately, she hadn't had the time to do anything _but_ batter people into the ground. The only comforting aspect of her new all consuming hobby was the fact that these people were exceedingly obnoxious.

She had just finished one of these so-called training sessions with her new team, and while her physical frustration was spent, Hanabi needed a more personal outlet.

Padding barefoot along the teak hallways of the Hyuuga compound, Hanabi absent-mindedly trailed her hand along the opaque, paper walls. Her feet carried her along a much traveled path, the innate knowledge deeply ingrained in her being. After making several twists and turns, Hanabi halted in front of a door identical to all the others along the hall. Silently, she slid the door open and stepped into her sanctuary.

The room was stark and bare of all adornment save for the ebony grand piano standing among the negative space. Hanabi unconsciously relaxed her shoulders and allowed a tiny puff of air escape from her lungs. The girl sat down at the shining wooden bench and ran her fingers over the ivory keys.

Finally, she applied pressure and a low note reverberated through the room, her hand, her thoughts. Instead of delving into a melody straightaway, Hanabi let the note sound fully, patiently waiting for the sound to end. Again, her fingers moved across the keyboard, this time coaxing a tune from the depths of the piano.

As she let her hands run, eyes drifting closed, Hanabi thought that it was a little strange. She could beat a boy nearly twice her size into the ground--yet she still didn't feel all-powerful. To her mind, that position was always left to her father, perhaps followed closely by Neji. She was all too aware of her shortcomings as a Hyuuga. But, the name of Hyuuga had no standing when she was playing the piano, letting notes and percussive rhythms flow from her hands. It was at moments like these when Hanabi felt her true power.

It was never a question of letting her "creativity" flow. She'd never felt particularly deprived as a child, and Kami knows the Hyuuga were not known for fostering creativity in their children. For Hanabi, music was always a matter of freedom, not from her troubles, but from the oppressive presence of the Hyuuga compound.

Ordinarily, the compound was a world of gray. Members of the clan had few genetic variations, and often tended to blend together in a mass of dark hair and piercing eyes. The architecture itself was nondescript, traditional and only grandiose in size. Sometimes it seemed as though the clouds hovered over the dwelling of the Hyuugas, bent on washing their world in a haze.

However, in this room, Hanabi could make color come to life for a fleeting moment over the black and white. Vivid hues danced in her mind, the closest she would probably ever get to a hallucinogen. For once in her life, Hanabi felt saturated in color, not just the pawn of her family.

As the song drew to a close, Hanabi's eyes fluttered open, and perhaps, perhaps, a trace of color flashed through her normally pale iris. But, it was gone in a flash as Hanabi smiled serenely, ready to face another day.

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_Thanks for reading!_

_erskine exposed_


	3. Exquisitely Designed

_Hi, again. Sorry, for any of you who actually read these things, for not updating sooner. I guess I just didn't have much motivation to write, but I'm back on my feet. I can't promise to update more often, but I will try. Anyway, on to the story. It's short. _

_Standard disclaimer applies._

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Title: Exquisitely Designed

Theme #: 52, Friendship

Summary: How did anyone expect her to work effectively, let alone survive, on a team like this?

Word Count: 461

When she was younger, Hanabi had seen the way Hinata acted with her teammates. They were all exceptionally different, but somehow seemed to complete the others, a perfectly balanced equation.

Shino exhibited the characteristics expected of shinobi, while Kiba had the passion. And where Hinata may not have seemed it, she held the true strength of the group. Somehow, Hanabi had expected all genin teams to be like this, exquisitely designed to fulfill any weaknesses of individual members.

Now that she had met her own teammates, however, she wasn't so sure. It seemed that there was no common ground between the three of them. Yasuo was far more concerned with poring over every tome in the shinobi library than improving his combat skills. Kozue was just an average shinobi at best, unwilling to work on his weaknesses and stubborn to the point of idiocy. And she, well Hanabi may not have been perfect, but she knew she was on a level beyond her assigned team.

How did anyone expect her to work effectively, let alone survive, on a team like this? _How could three such different people ever start to like each other?_ she asked herself.

But, _liking_ was never a part of the equation to begin with. Perhaps understanding, and maybe respect for the others' abilities, but _liking_ and _friendship_, those had nothing to do with a shinobi's career. Yes, Hinata was friendly with her team, but that was because she was too soft and easygoing. Hanabi figured Hinata could make friends with Orochimaru if she really wanted to. But then, there was Neji. It could not be denied that Neji spent a lot of time with his team as well. Hanabi could hardly argue that he was too soft.

So what made him so drawn to his team? Neji was not one to spend time doing things he had no interest in. The only possible explanation the girl could come up with was time. After all the years of dealing with his admittedly unbalanced sensei and teammates, perhaps Neji had just grown accustomed to their antics, and could now tolerate them. But, was that really the best Hanabi could look forward to? After many years, would she learn to integrate herself into an obviously sub par team?

But then, a thought struck her. Neji's team, although comprised of a weapons master and certified genius, was put at a serious disadvantage because one could not utilize any chakra. Yet, the team as a whole had learned each other's weaknesses and strengths so well, that they were one of the most effective non-ANBU teams in Konoha.

Was teamwork, and maybe even friendship, so vital to a cell's success? Hanabi couldn't possibly know, but she figured she'd have years to find out.

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_Thanks for reading! Leave a review with any thoughts._

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	4. The Shining Princess

_Again sorry for the slow update time, but I was never quite satisfied with this one. There was a way I wanted it, that I could never quite achieve. Oh well, I hope you enjoy this!_

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Title: The Shining Princess

Theme #: 41, Wings

Summary: Kaguya-hime flew away to her place in the sky, but Hanabi must descend from her Moon Palace if she ever wants to find happiness.

Word Count: 1,102

In the past year or so, Hanabi had finally come to term with her team's idiosyncrasies. She'd learned that though Kozue was a prime example of sheer brute force, he was loyal beyond belief, and that although Yasuo had his nose buried in a book more often than not, he knew more about chakra theory than even sensei.

He had finally convinced both Hanabi and Kozue to make a visit to the Shinobi Library. He had promised that Hanabi could study mathematical textbooks to further her understanding of complex theorems and that Kozue could learn from the hundreds of jutsu scrolls catalogued there.

They had all gathered at a long table, scored with the usual wear and tear, initials and hearts and scattered profanity. Soon though, all the blemishes were covered up with scrolls and loose-leaf paper filled with equations.

Hanabi had immersed herself so deeply in theoretical musings involving the Method of Exhaustion and her Byakugan that she didn't notice Yasuo's absence until he returned, dropping a heavy, leather-bound book on the table. While Kozue nearly jumped out of his skin, Hanabi merely glanced up at the slight boy, idly wondering how he had managed to even lift such a heavy thing.

"Geeze, what are you trying to do, give a man a heart attack?" Kozue complained.

Hanabi rolled her eyes while Yasuo merely ignored him. Deftly, he flipped the book open while remarking, "It's funny how often history repeats itself." The book fell open to a richly illustrated page. There were three people, two men, one handsome and the other sinister, and a beautiful woman. The caption read: "The Gallant Jiraiya."

"Whoa! Is this a book about the Legendary Sannin?" Kozue exclaimed.

Hanabi furrowed her brow. Perhaps the people faintly resembled the famous trio, when they were much younger, but Yasuo would not be so interested in a history book.

"This shows the story of a toad, a slug, and a snake magician, rather like our Sannin," Yasuo explained.

"So, why would you say, 'History repeats itself?' This is just a story," Hanabi reasoned.

"All stories have their roots in history, Hanabi-san," he responded, making Hanabi twitch at his formal tone. Yasuo still referred to Kozue as "Murayama-san" and it was only after Hanabi had closed off all his tenketsu and threatened to temporarily blind him that he began using her first name. Kozue had tried a similar method, but for a shinobi who almost never trained, Yasuo was quick to get out of the way of danger.

Idly, Hanabi listened as the boys argued over what characters from the book of folktales would correspond to Konoha's shinobi.

"Fine," Kozue was grasping at straws, "Who would sensei be?"

It took Yasuo only a moment until he flipped to a page with a picture titled "Tamamo-no-Mae." It depicted a beautiful woman with pitch-black hair, nine fox tails curling around her nude form. Kozue spluttered at the image, turning beet red before shouting, "You pervert!" Hanabi had to lay a warning hand on his shoulder to quiet him. "I can't believe you'd compare sensei to that lady!"

Yasuo huffed out an angry breath. "Appearances are not always as they seem Murayama-san. Although this woman may appear beautiful, she is truly a force to be reckoned with. She deceived an emperor, making him fall in love and then get sick. When she was discovered she fled and turned into a stone capable of killing anything it touched. Both Sensei and Tamamo-no-Mae are sly and ruthless opponents in less than intimidating forms."

Hanabi snorted her contempt for Yasuo's analysis. She was willing to put up with so much ridiculousness, but this was going too far. To compare a mythical being to a real woman was sheer lunacy to Hanabi's concrete mind. Just because Kihaku-sensei might have characteristics similar to the character did not mean the two were equal. She quickly went back to her calculations, disturbed only twice by her tablemates. The first was when Yasuo said Kozue would have been Issun-Boshi, The One Inch Boy, which resulted in harsh glares and threats from other visitors to the library. The second was when Kozue wondered who she would have been. With a glare that left no room for protest, Hanabi pushed out her chair and marched off to the mathematics section, sick of her team's foray into idiocy.

Both boys watched her leave, but when she was out of earshot, Yasuo opened the volume to a picture near the back. Inscribed in calligraphy near the bottom was "Kaguya-hime: The Shining Princess." The woman was resplendent, dressed in a robe of peacock feathers, two wings protruding from her back. No emotion showed on her face, but the light of the moon bathed her in a cool glow.

Reverently, he brushed his fingers over the image. "Kaguya-hime was the most beautiful woman in the land. An old bamboo cutter with no children found her in the forest one day, and so he and his wife raised her lovingly. Many men competed for her hand, but she would have none of them.

"One day, a delegation from the moon arrived, demanding that Kaguya–hime return to the Moon Palace. Of course, the old couple knew that their adopted daughter was not a normal human, but it hurt to have her taken away. When she left, she had to don a robe of feathers, which would allow her to return to the moon, but would also wipe away any recollection she had of her earthly feelings and memories. She bid her parent goodbye, put on the magic robe, and grew a pair of wings to fly back to her home on the moon."

When it was clear that Yasuo was not going to elaborate further, Kozue prodded him on, "That's a nice story and all, but I don't get what it has to do with Hanabi-chan."

"Well, perhaps it's more a case of opposites. You see, Kaguya-hime was, for all intents and purposes, a human woman, and then was transformed into a glacial moon creature. Hanabi-san, on the other hand is generally calculating and cold, and must learn how to live with 'normal people.'"

"I don't get it," Kozue complained.

Yasuo rubbed his eyes and sighed, "I shouldn't have expected you to." When his teammate's muscles clenched threateningly, he quickly continued, "Let me put this more simply: Kaguya-hime flew away to her place in the sky, but Hanabi must descend from her Moon Palace if she ever wants to find happiness."

"And how do you suppose she'll do that, brainiac?"

"I guess we'll have to drag her down."

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_Thanks for reading! Leave a review with questions, comments or concerns!_

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	5. Taking the Chance

_Well, this took way too long to come out, so sorry about that. But it's a little different from what I normally do, so I hope you enjoy it!_

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Title: Taking the Chance

Theme #: 74, Loyalty; 5, Addiction; 34, Smell; 100, Element; 21, Day

Summary: Never once did she resent her place in the world, she knew her duties and would carry them out to the fullest. Then, her world changed.

Word Count: 561

_Loyalty_

For her whole life, Hanabi had been in service to something more powerful than herself. There was her father, her sister, her clan to protect with every heartbeat and drawn breath. Then there was her team, her Hokage, her village defend with her dying breath should the need arise. Never once did she resent her place in the world, she knew her duties and would carry them out to the fullest.

Then, she didn't know exactly how or why, her world changed. She found herself swimming in his eyes, so alike and yet contrary to her own. Hanabi knew he would control her, body, mind and spirit. But she rushed headlong into his embrace, forgoing her freedom for the one chance to direct her life.

_Addiction_

She had worked out the likelihood of being discovered by someone from Konoha. The chances, while not exactly in her favor, were not overwhelmingly against. The odds were nothing to sneer at, but Hanabi found herself caring less and less for the practicality of her decisions than the imminent promise of an adrenaline rush.

He, and the sneaking around seeing him required, created a high in Hanabi that she had not felt since her first solo mission. Battles to the death were all well and good, but she couldn't bring herself to relish in dodging sharp metal shrapnel as much as she used to. It wasn't so much that she needed him as she needed the drama he created.

_Smell_

Yes, while she had begun exhibiting some peculiar tendencies, like skipping most team training, she figured the less she said, the more speculation, all of which would lead to rumors. Whilst her peers were busy wondering what civilian she was seeing, she was free to sneak off to her next rendezvous point.

It wasn't until Kiba began looking at her peculiarly, that Hanabi began to even worry. His eyes would linger on her longer than necessary, and his nose would sometimes wrinkle in distaste. However, when he said nothing to her, she continued with her routine, this time more careful to douse herself in perfume when returning from her excursions.

_Element_

This was where Hanabi was most comfortable. She wasn't naturally suited for recon work, as her eyes would easily confirm her identity to any half-trained nin. But subterfuge, outright lying, this was what her upbringing as a Hyuuga had prepared her for.

She looked into her father's eyes and said, "Father, I assumed you would find it more beneficial to my training were I to focus solely on the jyuuken, and not concern myself in practicing what I have already mastered."

The man merely nodded, a dismissal, and she left feeling supremely proud.

_Day_

There finally came the time when Hanabi decided the time was past to end her indiscretions. She wasn't caught by any of her family or comrades. She just decided the thrill was gone. She didn't need to tell him, either. She knew that when she didn't show up for their scheduled meeting, he would understand, probably better than anyone else.

The time she was supposed to see him found her waiting in her team's training grounds. Sensei accepted her presence without a sideways glance, but did say, "I never thought I'd see the day you'd come here voluntarily."

Hanabi shrugged, and replied, "I guess some days are just different."

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_Thanks for reading! _

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	6. Real Reason

_Hey all, I'm sorry this took so long to write blah blah blah. I was struck down by writer's blah blah block and/or Senioritis. Yada yada yada. You know the drill. _

**Do not own.**

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Title: Real Reason

Theme #: 80, The Future

Summary: She did not want the diplomatic answer just because she was a child.

Word Count: 695

She had still been in the academy when the Fourth Shinobi War was declared. That didn't mean she didn't see her sister die in battle, only to be brought back a strange and powerful jutsu. Yes, she'd been out of the village with her father at the time of the invasion, the second in only three short years. But she still witnessed her sister's long recovery in the hospital.

It was Hanabi who would often go and sit with Hinata during the long days in the recovery ward. She would come in after her classes and before she was needed back at the Compound. Most days, one or more of her sister's teammates would be sitting with her, coaxing life from the normally demure girl. Their conversations always came to a natural close when she entered the room, and they would leave with a curt nod from Shino and a pat on the head from Kiba.

Then, Hanabi would be left to take their place. She would sit in a vacated chair and stare at her sister. She would answer any questions the older girl had, and would sometimes pose her own. However, most of their time together was spent in less-than-comfortable silence.

Hanabi felt bad; the two people that were capable of making Hinata smile lately had to leave just because her awkward little sister came to visit. She wished she didn't have to come, just to spare herself the embarrassment. It wasn't that she didn't love her sister, they were just very different people. Even at ten years old, Hanabi knew that she and Hinata were in separate spheres of the Hyuuga family.

Yet, Hinata never seemed to feel the silence in the room quite like Hanabi did. She could just sit and stare off into space for hours on end, perfectly entertained. It was as though she had become more confident after her near-brush with death, like some weight had been lifted from her soul. Hanabi never asked, thinking it would be rude.

Then, there came a day when Hinata was told she could leave the hospital. Hanabi sat at her sister's side as a nurse came in to deliver the news. The kunoichi smiled serenely before swinging her legs over the side of the bed to stand. Her younger sister was poised awkwardly on the edge of her chair, wondering if she should get up to help Hinata. Yet, Hinata stood, with no trace of a wobble and moved to collect the few things that had amassed in her hospital room.

Hanabi watched as her sister picked up get well soon cards and folded them flat, and couldn't help but wonder at the act of violence that landed the kunoichi in the hospital. She must have known that that shinobi was far beyond her skill level, but she still charged into the confrontation.

"Why?"

The single word had slipped beyond Hanabi's mouth before she could control the puff of air in her throat. She wanted to stifle the question, and hoped her sister would disregard it.

Luck was not with Hanabi as Hinata stilled and turned around. She looked at her little sister, eyes quizzical.

Hanabi gulped and repeated, "Why? I mean, why did you do it?"

"I am a kunoichi of the Leaf," she began slowly. "It is my duty to protect Konoha and it's citizens."

Hanabi flapped her hands impatiently. She did not want the diplomatic answer just because she was a child.

Hinata seemed to understand and continued, "I fought not only for Konoha, but what it represents. Konoha is my home, and the home of my family and friends. I could not sit idly by and watch the downfall of what is mine." She spoke quietly, but with ardor, a passion that Hanabi rarely witnessed in her sister.

"But mostly, I saw the chance to take what I wanted, or at least try to." Hinata smiled wistfully, before looking at Hanabi, "Perhaps, sister, one day you will find something worth giving up everything for."

Her piece said, Hinata exited the hospital room, Hanabi trailing after, feeling as though she and her sister were further apart than before.

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_Anywho, leave me a review (or not)._

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